Living for 19 years

Lived on this earth for 19 years. Well not officially.

Birthday is on 26 October 1993. Tomorrow. Yesterday. Depending on where u r reading this.

26 October 1993.

Mom gave birth to me on a Thursday at 5.55 pm.

Weird number. 5.55 pm.

Ironically I don't like Thursday (Due to Kesatria Negara)

How's life so far for the past 19 years?

Well its good. I don't want to repeat it though (Hell No).  Life is okay. Oh-kay. It has its ups and downs. Life is cool. This is going to be one of those super-short post. If u r a friend of mine, and hopping to find what I want for my birthday. Well, I want a few things :

1 - I want a new scheduler (For 2013)

2- Books ( U can spend on me during Big Bad Wolf)

3- I want a cake with 19 candles on it with a small sweet surprise by my friends

4- I want all of my friends and family to be here. (Merely impossible, but this is my only wish)

The Murder Story in Istanbul

Prologue 

Let me begin to tell you, how I love books. Books are my sanctuary, they are my haven, my escapade.
I can tell how good the book is by reading the first two passage of the books. If a book starts with a melancholic tone, I would know how somber and dark the story will be. If a book starts with an upbeat optimism, whatever mood u are in, you would probably succumb to the mood in which the writer is trying to convey. I however, I prefer when the writer starts with curiosity  like in the "Life of Pi by Yann Martel." There are many types of genre of novel that I read, but I wouldn't call myself a Universal Book Reader. I am quite picky when it comes to book.

There are some books that I would love to grab and have it stacked neatly on my shelf, but because of its high prices (I don't buy books above RM 50), I would tend to make a mental note and try to find those books in a flea market. There are several books that I've been itching to buy and have. I have a disorder, Book Collector Disorder, its a disorder in which collecting book is no longer a hobby but something that I need to do. (This disorder is entirely a fabrication, but  any book lover would understand).

There are several great authors that I have yet to read their masterpiece. There are the following ;

1) George Orwelli : 1984
2) Gabriel Garcia Marquez : One Hundred Years of Solitude
3) Franz Kafka : The Metamorphosis
4) Haruki Murakami : 1q84
5) Orhan Pamuk : My Name Is Red

Please, play the drum rolls everyone!

I am happy to inform u my dear and loyal readers (I doubt; I will be having any hits in this), that I have read the 5th book on the list. This is all thanks to Mr Haikal Hikmal. While I am at it, I might say a few words of gratitude to Haikal for lending me this amazing piece of literature, if it wasn't for him I would have never known such a beautiful and extraordinary masterpiece!

Part I : Beginning 

I rarely make any commentary reviews because the fact is, I might have a lot of things to say and most of the time its really hard to judge a book after u r done reading it. I have never, mark my words, ever, write any commentary reviews as long as this one. There are several other good books that I would recommend in which it is as good as this book, but in the sense, Orhan Pamuk wrote the book so well that it would be sin  not to share the depth and impact it has made readers.

You know a book will be good when the chapter begins with " I am A Corpse". It doesn't have any  melancholic feel to it nor an optimistic feel to it, nay, it was quite contrary.

It didn't have any philosophical depth like :

I am A Corpse; as in I am a man who doesn't anything in life but numbness.

It doesn't have any hidden message such as.

I am a Corpse : I have longed to be a human and feel the world as others. Nay nay!

It was quite simple really.

I am A Corpse : I am a guy who got killed by someone I knew. I died because the murderer push me into the well. I died. Therefore I am a Corpse. A body without a soul. Literally.

Like I said earlier,  one could judge how good a book really is by the first two passage. Even by the first passage u would be surprise how simple yet elegant Orhan managed to write his story. It was so elegantly written one could imagine it being as smooth as the silk itself. The book is simple, yet it has its own depth that readers need to understand.

Part II : I am the Murderer.

In the middle of reading this, I couldn't help but see the similarity in the style of which Pamuk depicts the Murderer. The last murder/mystery novel that was as thrilling and as good as Pamuk's would be Fyodor Dostovesky (Which is also one of most favourite authors all time). To some who have read, Dostoevsky's work might disagree with me, saying that his work was much blunt and is not as sophisticated as Pamuk's. Well, dear sir, this is only my opinion, and my opinion alone. But yes, Dostovesky's work was much more dark. In his novel he describe that the murderer is trying to run away from his crime and was quite ashamed in his own crime. But in Pamuk's story, the murderer was quite the contrary. He was much more vain, he was even proud in his crime. In a few chapter, the killer was confident  enough to brag about how intelligent and calculative he was in his manoeuvre. He was quite sure that no one would/could ever catch him and he would be safe.

Perhaps, this is why I relate Pamuk's work to Dostovesky, how different the two characters are. In Dostovesky Crime & Punishment, the character reveals his true identity but he is scared, unsure, sick and is depress in his own vile action that he whimpers and crumble and even hope that someone would/might catch him. While in Pamuk's work, the character is a totally different, in the sense that he hides his true identity. He doesn't reveal his name, character or even personality and leaves reader wondering. Every reader who have read Pamuk's book would somehow wish that they have the same 6th sense that  the infamous Detective Sherlock Holmes has in detecting a criminal.

If u would give a minute or two and just think: what does evil really mean? Does it mean, how we establish an action or how react a killer react after killing another person? One might say, that evil would means both: having the intention to kill and the reaction one have after killing another human being.

I might agree, but only to a certain extent.Yes, I might agree, that if a person who has the intention to kill someone might not be call evil but to actually kill someone, yes, there is a definite line which separates a normal being from a criminal. However, there is a certain degree of evil that we can establish from the killers reaction. One might assume, that if a killer is in a lot of distress after killing someone, we might assume that the killer is quite sorry in his action. If u were to read, Crime and Punishment, the writer depicts how the Murderer was sick and bed ridden for days after he murdered his victim. He was describe as melancholic, depressed, feeble and somewhat mad.

But in I am Red, Pamuk wrote that the Murderer was quite calculative, that the murder was planned and was well organized. In a few chapter, reader would notice that the murderer was somewhat vain, egoistic, narcissistic and proud. He was too proud,  and he believed and was confident that he was indeed above the law, and no one would know who he truly is. However, it was quite ironic that there some small trace of fear in the murderer as he didn't reveal his identity to the reader, leaving us (esp me) agitated and quite intrigued in the true identity.

Part III : Philosophy Vs Religion

In every book, where there is a murder there would be a murderer, no? Yes. But not all murderer in a typical book u read would have a true grip of his/her religion. In I am Red, the murderer was a true believer in god. He wasn't an atheist nor was he has liberal mind. To me, he is considered as a conservative muslim. In an era where Ottoman Empire ruled and their Sultan came second after God, it wasn't so surprising that the Murderer tried his best to conceal his true identity. (Yet, he didn't do so well in concealing his pride)

I find it entirely amusing to read and be a spectator in the scene where the murderer has contradiction with his own principle. Here is a man, who loves his God, who would do anything to protect his religion. But he is also a painter, a miniaturist:  he believe that the Western Art is despicable and doesn't belong. Then again, he is only a miniaturist, a servant to a master, his arts are his pride, but how could he be proud of such arts that could contradict with his religion?

PART IV :  THE ART OF SEX

Yes, sex is an art. And only few can manage to describe how artistic and erotic sex and romance can be. Pamuk managed to do that. He made sex looks as beautiful as Mona Lisa's Smile and  it was sensual yet erotic! At the same time u manage, to see how beautiful sex really is. In this modern age, we need to be reminded how sex was a topic that can only be discussed behind the doors ; and he managed just that. He was talking about sex, but not in a direct manner in which it could sometimes be a turn off, nay, he wrote it a very discreet yet romantic manner that I find myself longing for more. How I wish he wrote more the scene between Black and Shekure ; the secret indulgence that the two loves had in the Jewish House. Every single words by Pamuk was arousing, every single detailed he wrote was so precise and intense, one could not do anything else but longed for more!


I have never, written such a long review before. I hope, the length doesn't stop u from reading the review. Sorry for any spelling or any grammatical error. Au Revoir!

Twitter : Extended Version

There are so many things I complain on Twitter that I would like to share and explain. Due to the 140 character limit (I accepted the challenge) I can't justify some of my snide comments about regular day to day things. I tweet things that are rather annoying to me and I would like to state my reason for my comment. Well lets do this.

#1 : JaNgGaN TyPe MaChAm Niew La BinGai.

I hate this type of typing. What kind of skills are you portraying? I hated it back in 2006 (When I first got my own      mobile phone) and I still hate it. It portrays pure idocracy. Whoever types like this made Harry and Llyod (Dumb and Dumber) seem like geniuses. They had Dumb, Dumber and  A Motherfucking Idiot and that would be you. You were so idiotic that u became the third installation of the movie series.

 Instead of typing at a relatively high speed (like any normal users) u would spent twice the time shifting your fingers to hold the Shift or Caps Lock button on each letters. Instead of using less letter you would use more letter to enhance your so called  "creative minds". You would probably try to defend your stand and say that you could do as you please and it is your Twitter page and I could simply unfollow you. Well the thing is, I like my  native language. I love how beautiful Malay and English really is. I do, people like A Samad Said, Faizal Tehran, Abdullah Hussain worked really hard to show how beautiful our native tongue really is. And here we have you, ruining the language that is so beautiful and magnificent. How hard is it for you type properly and use proper English and Malay.

#2 Use your OWN name for Twitter and Facebook

This is especially for Facebook. I am so sorry to : "Puteri Lagenda Mahsuri" or "Lelaki Tampan" or "ItI ApIqAh AmAd" or "Pisang Kacak Petola" - for ignoring and declining your facebook friend  request. I can't simply add all the fruits and princesses that I know. I do, decline them, without even checking their facebook page. I will immediately..Let me just stress the word..IMMEDIATELY, declined or report as spam your friend request or facebook page (depending on your name and picture). How could I approve a man named, Pisang Kacak Petola. How the fuck that is even possible? Did your parents decided a banana would be a great first  name? Did you think your parents decided you look like a PETOLA and you weren't just any PETOLA, you were a goddamn looking PETOLA, hence the name..KACAK PETOLA. Seriously, brother..Your parents are not the retards here. You were. You were. You were the one that decided that you wanted your name to be a PISANG KACAK PETOLA...because Muhammad Safi wasn't good enough, you decided that you wanted to be a fruit and a good looking vegetable as well. For some reason, I think people like Pisang Kacak Petola should be banned from all networking site. For some, like Iti Apiqah Samad(I'm to lazy for the Caps Lock retardation here) decided that Siti Syafiqah Samad is not  "cute" enough, so Iti would  be a great replacement. Oh how cute, you want the whole world to call you Iti. This is beyond words. Its consider as an insult for me if anybody else call my name other than my real name. I would expect you to pronounce it properly and as written in my identification card. But again, this people will defend themselves with statement such as "its their facebook and they have rights to do as they please."

Okay I might have to break my reasons down so that I would have a much clearer point. First, a Facebook is not like any other social networks, it is consider to be as close to your identification card  here in the network. You are no longer unknown, you are consider to be known and you will exist in the net. Facebook, is and will be your identification card. So. I don't give a doddle dang about how you want to be known in the network, but here in Facebook you should consider to use your own name on the site. Its you ID? Do u want people to call you Pisang or Petola or any other ridiculous name out there? Besides, calling your princess or princes on the network doesn't change the fact that you are definitely not a royalty. Secondly, I wouldn't if you would consider at least for you to put your real name somewhere in you page. Or at least, the least you could do is to stick to that one nickname and not change it. I've seen so many people, with 10 different nickname that varies from ridiculousness to pure idocracy to the "mind blowingly idiotic" nicknames. I've seen people's name with SYMBOLS for crying out loud. Who do you think you are? Only Prince, can get away with symbolic names.


So this is my current post, after so long of delaying my post I decided to bitch out loud about "unethical" Twitter and Facebook Users. Till then, ciao baby.

Rosmah V Yubaba

Met Yubaba from Spirited Away, she had a long lost twin. Lost in Malaysia to be precise. 

Untitled

This is my first post from my actual laptop (being I am at home, bored). The tittle in Untitled because this would mean I'm posting something related to my actual private life (in another words, non political stuff). I am looking for new topics to talk about, the Idea was to post on Aung San Suu Kyi, but that would mean, a long post praising the good will woman and most commenting (bashing) on the Burmese government. But till then, I will wait till the true inspiration comes forth. For now, this is me rambling about my life. Finding the next topic (the next big thing) is not quite easy. I would love to talk about my work in the UN, but since its going at a very slow (tortoise speed) I would rather put that topic on hold...

I want to talk about my dreams becoming part of a convoi team to help the people in Afghanistan, but that will bore you to death. I want to talk about my wish to go to Cambodia and stay that and help the people of Cambodia. I want to talk about so many things, but like others..I have a (major) problem in describing the things I want. Generally, I want to help. Generally, I want to make a difference. But don't we all. The difference between me and you is, whether or not, you are actually doing something to change the world or that you just hope  to change the world. Cause you see, actions and words are something majorly different.

Yes.

I am definitely rambling. This is me, typing beside Mimi (My cat)..about the things I want to talk about and the things I wish to talk about. In other words, I'm just rambling...till my new brilliant idea pops. Who said, having your blog is easy? I'm no socialist. I don't have an exciting life. But I do have big dreams, dreams that I planned to fulfill when the right time comes. Till then, au revoir.

Pyramids & The Twin Tower

This would be be my first post in regards to world politics and the revolution surrounding it. I had re-draft, re-write several times to get this article right. I'm here with my office keyboard on my lap, typing vigorously on something that I know best. Politics and the people who is involve with it. This ladies and gentleman, would be another long post and it would drag on for a while (as I would talk on the history of Egypt) and I would as well give my thought in regards to the situation in Malaysia and my thoughts  on the subject. This, I beg your pardon, wouldn't be another of pro-Bersih or anti-Bersih post. I am not a pro-gov or anti-gov, I am just an observer with thought that needs to be expressed and known to others. My thoughts won't be significant one, but it shall be spoken, nevertheless.

Part I 

It all started with a boy named, Hosni Mubarak. 

(Isn't this old boy charming!) 

Hosni Mubarak, is like any other young teenage dreamers, with dreams to become one of the most successful and powerful men of all Egypt. To reign and rule. That was his ambition. Hosni, who was appointed as the Vice President of Egypt in 1975, then on  14 October 1988 Hosni boy was elected as Egypt's 4th President. Then, old boy Hosni got a bit to greedy and decided to stay as Egypt's president from the year 1988 - 2011. To make it pretty clear, our first Prime Minister was during our Independence Day, which was on August 31st 1957, and since 1957 - 2011, we have already had 12th General Election since the year of 1957. (Do correct me if I'm wrong). 

Well lets not get ahead of ourselves, lets get back to the simple math here. Hosni reign and govern the people of Egypt for 23 years! That a combination of years of Tun Hussein Onn, Tun Mahathir Mohammad and Abudllah Badawi all together (and well a few years from our own Big Daddy, Dato Sri Najib Razak). And to summarize the situation  of Egypt's political turmoil of 23 years, the ordinary people of Egypt decided to react.  People like you and me, sitting down watching telly at home finally realized that this man right here has sit and rule for to long. They can't be called a democratic country if the situation persist.

Revolt, Revoke and Change


The Middle East revolution started with Tunisia on 17 December 2010, as many of you are aware ( I doubt that) the Middle East revolution started when a video of a man named Mohammad Bouaziz when viral on the Internet, the media and shook the whole world. The video was a clip of Mohammad Bouaziz setting himself on fire to protest against the confiscation of the fruit and vegetables he was selling from the police. Which caused a particular outrage and cause a rebel among the Tunisians. Not many of the Tunisian would know that this small rebel would be a catalyst to what is known of the Middle East revolution. Here we are in Malaysia, several thousand kilometers away, sipping our coffee, watching our telly, and going on about our daily lives, people in Tunisia and several hundred thousand people like Mohammad Bouaziz decided that enough is enough.


Like many mad mob (those in pitchforks screaming get out of town) they were ordinary people who has been stomp, stepped and crossed over and it was there turn to show who's the boss. The word as I recall (V for Vendetta), the people shouldn't fear the government, is the government who should fear their people. And with ladies and gentleman, the people of Tunisia, revolt, and was an essential catalyst to what is known as the big revolution. On January 2011, the people of Egypt decided to take action. A series of demonstration, protest began. Media declared that Cairo had entered "war-zone", expatriate in the country fled with fear. The country where pharaohs, kings, Egyptian myth lies now was considered a grey area and harmful for expatriate. Like many other middle east country, Egypt was finally awake. On 25th January 2011, which happens to be a national holiday to commemorate the police forces, Egyptians take to the street in large numbers calling it a "day of rage". Egypt has open it eyes. Egypt roared and it roared loud. It roared for others to here. That enough is enough.

On 23 May 2011. Egypt's effort bear fruitful as Egypt had their first independent election after 23 years under the reign and power of Mubarak. Egypt was free to elect their leader. Among those who are nominated was the Muslim Brotherhood. Thousand lined up on Tahrir Square and their nearest polling station, ecstatic to be able to be apart in Egypt's new era. To be apart of the government. To be able to vote. To be given back their rights as a citizen. To have the chance to rebuilt Egypt and this time make it right. So what does Egypt and Malaysia has in common? Well, here is one thing that Malaysia has in common with Egypt. Like Egypt, Malaysia to has decided to stand up and express their vex in Malaysian's so called democracy. '

The Twin Tower

Bersih 2.0 was established with the simple of objective of wanting a clean election. Bersih 3.0 had the same similar objective. Question is, yes, we might not have a 100% clean election, but what is the true definition of a clean election? Can anyone describe and explain to me what a 100% clean election truly mean. An election itself is not a physical object that can be touched, heard or smell (if it was, it would be easy as to define a "clean election"). Many or as to be precise thousand of Malaysia has join the Bersih 3.0 rally to expressed their feelings in regards to Malaysian dirty election. As a citizen and as an owner of the blue identity card, I to agree on the idea of a gathering ( mark my words, I use gathering) and a calm and peaceful objection to a free and clean election. I do not, however agree on the idea of a radical protest or an angry protest. We, Malaysian, have nothing to be angry at, we did not have Hosni Mubarak as a president, we only had Najib Razak  (Their last name actually rhymes) . I mean, this guy ain't as bad as Hosni right? We had Mahathir, he did sat on the executive seat for quite a while but he didn't sat there for 23 years (He had something in common with Mubarak. Mubarak Jailed on of Muslim Brotherhood VP and disabled them as a party. Plus, He [Mahathir]  gave Badawi and Najib to have that chance) and so here we are, protesting, demonstrating and having quite a few of rallies (radically and non radically)  to express our feeling towards Malaysian Dirty Election.

But let me ask you again, as a reader, can u define a true clean election? What is a clean election?

Is a clean election means that Anwar and the PKR would (should) win, something (someone)  else besides UMNO and BN?

If you answered yes to the question, than clean election is not what you want, you are just anti-government. You are (as much as you deny) not pro clean election. Whatever you pro you are, you are definitely not looking forward to this pro-clean election. Because in my opinion, a clean election is whichever party wins, and was declared by a non-government organisation (In which we have our SPR) that the majority party who (subsequently won most vote) will be declared as the one who will lead the people. 

Unfortunately, everyone has their own two sides to the coins. What we want as a clean vote, will later change, we want our ( Insert name of politician via party) to win and lead our people. Instead of, we want a clean election in which who ever wins will be entitled to their winning. Like our dear old Egypt, they have already had their election and votes came out and apparently some of Mubarak's friend (party) actually won the majority vote. And much to the Muslim Brotherhood dismay, they have declared that the election and voting polls was disrupted (in other words, it means not so clean vote). However, Mubarak ( and his son) was later charged under Egypt's court for corruption and conspiracy ( and other criminal charges) and was sentenced by their court. So is the Egypt's election result was truly tempered and thus not worthy of Egypt's people trust. The Muslim Brotherhood was among who called and screamed that the election poll was temper (oh so they say) or is it truly that most (or certain) people still want the Mubarak's kin to govern the government. Will this be us Malaysia?

Will we be satisfy if the so BN or UMNO (or other majority party) wins a majority vote regardless of the steps taken by NGO, government and the individual itself. Will we ever be satisfy? 

Regardless of how you fill, we have protest. evoke, evolve and open our eyes to our rights as a citizen. Essentially that means we are entitle to vote, and vote we shall, regardless of who and what party we pick that doesn't really matter does it. Because what truly matter is, the person who is responsible to run and govern us.  We have done our best to show our concern about the country and we have prove that we are the people and we have a voice (A very loud one) but at the end of the day our job is not done, we have yet to elect our next Prime Minister. I am very intrigue in what is in store for us (Malaysia) as the coming general election is getting near (and more intense) we shall see who would win. But dear old Malaysia, be aware that our government has definitely heard us (fear us as well) because we finally showed a revolution is not hard to be triggered. Is just that, is Malaysia, prepare to undergo the same situation as the Middle East? Till then, keep your pitchforks and just go along with the flow as we are not the Middle East. We have our own identity, we are not the West, East, we are Malaysia. And Malaysian we shall be. 

Green Eyed Girl

Skies were blue. Grass was green as it was the beginning of Summer. Mr and Mrs A was sitting on their sofa, lavishing their view from their sofa. Mrs A picked up a magazine. It was summer 1985, where everything would go well in Mr and Mrs A lives, as Mr A had a $1200 dollars raise in his $4000 paycheck. For what reason was the raise given was uncertain, maybe the economy was good, or maybe business was good. But a raise is a raise, no question asked. Mrs A picked up the magazine she bought earlier in the market. The "Afghan Girl" embrace the cover. She had a maroon almost dirt red color veil on her head. Her dark hair was short, her face was unlike any other girl she seen before. She had roundish face which was distinguishable. Her face was cover with dirt. But her eyes, Mrs A, and stared at that eyes. Stared and stared. The eyes, was a greenish sea colored eyes. Mesmerizing. The eyes was hypnotic. It drew her closer and closer to the girl. The girl's eye were powerful indeed. She didn't bother to flip the page as she had already lost interest in the magazine. Mr. A realized what's happening and asked. Mrs A, shrug and pass the magazine to her husband. "The Afghan Girl? Well she looks like she needs a bath eh honey?" Mr A commented. Mrs A shrug and left her husband be. Mr A, left the magazine on the coffee table. 3 months from now, the magazine will be shredded and forgotten. No one knew where and how the green eyed girl came from. No one bothered to read her stories.

Those eyes, were eyes witness a thousand pain and a thousand woes. Those eyes witness war on hand. Those eyes blinked as blood shed and land turn red as her family was killed in front of her. Those eyes was flooded with nothing but anguish and misery. Those were the eyes of a brave girl.